Thursday, January 8, 2009

consistency

That's all I'm asking for. But I guess it is way too much for a 4 month old to give. Monday night she slept amazing, Tuesday night was another story. Up pretty much every hour or so. Sometimes screaming, sometimes all smiles. Made yesterday a mess. And then last night was almost as perfect as could be. I just don't get it.

The whole barely eating from the bottle thing is killing me though. Because she slept so badly the other night I didn't wake her up before I left, just pumped and left a bottle for Mr H. She ate 1.5 oz. Her next bottle, about 2 oz and the next, well that just put her over the edge and she barely touched it. So then when I got home and was feeding her before bed, she was ravenously hungry. She ate like she has never eaten before. Typically she drains a side in under 10 minutes and is done. Last night's feeding lasted almost 40. Which of course broke my heart. I just sobbed as she was eating. I know she'll get used to the bottle and it will get better but right now I just feel like I am completely failing her. My poor baby spent all day hungry, probably waiting for me, and I wasn't there for her. It kills me. Being exhausted didn't help though. Today I'm much more well rested and my boss, once again proving how awesome she is, told me to come in at 9:30 today. So I got to sleep in a little and spend the morning snuggling Sweetness.

And the only good thing about having to pump at work...I am now caught up on everyone's blogs and actually have time to post myself!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should probably be working...

10 comments:

Bean said...

I know it won't help make you feel better while you're going through it. But I know several people, including my sister, who dealt with the exact same bottle issues and truly ALL of their children ended up taking bottles just fine. It just sucks until they do. Sorry for the inconsistency. But here I'll be a total bitch and say "get used to it." ;) Sometimes it feels like my 6 YEAR old has multiple personalities!

Glad to got to sleep in and snuggle this morning.

battynurse said...

I'm sorry the transition of you going back to work isn't going great. I hope that things eventually calm down and it is easier.

Rachel said...

I also read blogs while pumping - it's the only thing that seems to get me through long pumping sessions. I know you just started this routine, but I'm wondering if your daughter is already headed towards some type of 'reverse feeding cycle' where babies eat a lot at night when their mother is nearby and then eat less during the day. It might be worth googling - several of my friends said it happened to them, and was totally fine for the baby.

Heather said...

A bit of me talking out of my ass:

Do you think it is her missing you or the bottle itself or a combination? Maybe you could sleep with a blanket and have him lay it across his chest or across hers while she eats so she smells you. It may help soothe her? I don't know, just a wild guess. Feel free to totally ignore this whole comment.

docgrumbles said...

I hope it gets better.

Jen said...

You aren't failing her at all. She will adjust and probably sooner than you do. Babies are very adaptable and she's a tough, smart girl. You are doing the right thing and it will all be okay.

Julia said...

Sorry if this is assvice... Is this an issue with the bottle, you think, or a bottle? Has she tried and rejected many? Some babies are very particular about which bottles will do and which can go add themselves to the nearest landfill for all the good they do.

And I totally hear you on consistency. Am in fact wondering if this is national mess with parents' minds and clocks baby week. Hope things improve for you soon.

Fertilized said...

Good luck to you. Everyone will adjust. It's rough the first week. She may just be contend cluster feeding. There's nothing wrong with that.

My 7 month old still has many inconsistant weeks. You are not failing anyone. I am giving you lots more credit. Thinking of you

K77 said...

I wonder if cup feeding might suit her better?

TTG only falls into a pattern long enough to fake me out, then changes everything lol.

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