Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Atkins be damned

I am on a carb-fest, all carbs all the time. The thought of most proteins makes my gag reflex kick in. I've been feeling a little bad about it so I managed to shovel some eggs down my throat for breakfast and a few bites of chicken from the take-in thai for dinner tonight. Other than that, it's been bagels, pasta, or rice.

Our next ultrasound is Friday. I should be 7w6d. I go back and forth between thinking I hope there's still a heartbeat in there to getting all excited at the growth we'll see from last weeks u/s. I've still got all those nasty first tri symptoms, so I should be optimistic. And I actually had my first sort of puke this morning. Not very pleasant. And my favorite black pants, the very last size 10 I could fit into this fall, the ones that always make me look skinny, could barely button yesterday. I should take that as another good sign, instead I blame it on the freakin carbs.

Work is kicking my butt this week, which I know isn't helping my general funk. We're brought in a bunch of new staff so I'm training from 8:30 until 4 each day. It is just exhausting. Plus, I then have the rest of my job to do once all that is over. I've been going to bed before 9 most nights. At least there's no good tv on!

Off to scrounge up something bland and starchy to go stuff my face...

Monday, January 28, 2008

bad blogger

I know, I've been a very bad blogger. I keep coming up with all these great posts in my head at night and then by the time I can actually blog, they're long gone and all that is left is this horrible cycle of "I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm excited, I'm scared". Throw in a random "I think I'm gonna hurl" and you've pretty much summed things up for me.

I really hate that my blog has recently become a laundry list of everything I've been doing or that's going on, so I'm trying to avoid that. And I hate that I feel stuck in this in-between land, still fighting all the demons of infertility while simultaneously feeling cramps, pangs, and all these other symptoms of this little thing growing inside of me. Don't know how to avoid that though.

My cousin sent me a link for a sale at some maternity shop and asked if I had started shopping yet. Seriously!! After I composed myself, I wrote back joking that, at 7 weeks, I didn't quite need that just yet. Apparently, at this point in her first pregnancy, she already had a small stash of maternity clothes, since it made sense to buy things on sale. Just crazy

Again, another nonsense post with no real direction, but that's kind of how I feel lately. I'm going through each day without direction. I drag my tired butt out of bed each morning, stumble through work, then stumble my way to my private clients most nights, stumble home and go back to bed. I'm direction-less. I used to have direction and was highly motivated towards my goal. I was going to get pregnant. Every early morning as I dragged myself out of bed, I had a direction...going to the clinic at some pre-dawn hour to check on my progress. That's what got me through everything else. Then at night, I had another direction, whether it be a pill or a shot. Now, no real direction. Doesn't that seem crazy?!? I reached my destination. I should be happy, not wandering all over again like before I started treatments. Not sure how to find my new direction...any ideas from some of you ladies who made this trip already? There needs to be a mapquest for all this crap.

Ok enough of this. Want to say a quick thank you to the Order of the Plastic Ute (aka. the DC Bloggers) for a fantastic get together Saturday. Girls night in is one of my fave things...and this one was even better because I didn't have to pretend to nurse a beer, dump it when no one is looking, then fill it with water. Pretty lame, I know

Friday, January 25, 2008

Yes Virginia....

...we can have insurance coverage.

I know I have a bunch of VA readers. Please take action and email your Senator!

Dear Fellow Virginia Resident,
Infertility Insurance Coverage for Virginia residents: Take Action Now!

Senator Patsy Ticer (D-30) introduced Virginia Senate Bill 631 on January 9, 2008. This legislation would require health insurers, health maintenance organizations, and corporations providing accident and sickness subscription contracts to provide coverage for the treatment of infertility.

Testimony for this bill will be heard before the Senate Labor and Commerce Committee on Monday, January 28, 2008. We need your voice! Please call and email the committee members and ask them to support SB631. If you are a constituent of one of the committee members, it is especially important that you make sure that he or she knows.

Click here to access RESOLVE's online Advocacy Alert system and send a letter to the Senators listed below immediately!

There are 7.3 million men and women that suffer from infertility in the US. More than 162,000 of those couples live in Virginia. Please help us make sure that Virginians have coverage for this disease and access to cost-effective and appropriate medical treatment. Send your letter and Take Action Now!

Thank you!
Barbara Collura
Executive Director and Resident of Virginia since 1993

Senator Richard L. Saslaw (Chair)(D) -
Senate District 35
General Assembly Building, Room 613
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7535
email: district35@sov.state.va.us

Senator Charles J. Colgan(D) - S
enate District 29
General Assembly Building, Room 317
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7537
email: district29@sov.state.va.us
10677 Aviation Lane
Manassas, Virginia 20110-2701
(703) 368-0300

Senator Yvonne B. Miller(D) -
Senate District 5
General Assembly Building, Room 315
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7505
email: district05@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 452
Norfolk, Virginia 23501
(757) 627-4212

Senator William C. Wampler, Jr.(R) -
Senate District 40
General Assembly Building, Room 301
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7540
email: district40@sov.state.va.us
510 Cumberland Street
Suite 308
Bristol, Virginia 24201-4387
(276) 669-7515

Senator Thomas K. Norment, Jr.(R) -
Senate District 3
General Assembly Building, Room 427
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7503
email: district03@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 6205
Williamsburg, Virginia 23188
(757) 259-7810

Senator Walter A. Stosch(R) -
Senate District 12
General Assembly Building, Room 621
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7512
email: district12@sov.state.va.us
nnsbrook Centre
4551 Cox Road
Suite 110
Glen Allen, Virginia 23060-6740
(804) 527-7780

Senator Kenneth W. Stolle(R) -
Senate District 8
General Assembly Building, Room 426
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7508
email: district08@sov.state.va.us2
101 Parks Avenue
Suite 700
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23451
(757) 486-5700

Senator John S. Edwards(D) -
Senate District 21
General Assembly Building, Room 309
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7521
email: district21@sov.state.va.us
P. O. Box 1179
Roanoke, Virginia 24006-1179
(540) 985-8690

Senator John C. Watkins(R) -
Senate District 10
General Assembly Building, Room 331
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7510
email: district10@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 159
Midlothian, Virginia 23113-0159
(804) 379-2063

Senator Frank W. Wagner(R) -
Senate District 7
General Assembly Building, Room 312
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7507
email: district07@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 68008
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23471
(757) 671-2250

Senator Stephen D. Newman(R) -
Senate District 23
General Assembly Building, Room 303
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7523
email: district23@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 480
Forest, Virginia 24551
(434) 385-1065

Senator Phillip P. Puckett(D) -
Senate District 38
General Assembly Building, Room 330
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7538
email: district38@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 924
Tazewell, Virginia 24651-0924
(276) 979-8181

Senator Linda T. Puller(D) -
Senate District 36
General Assembly Building, Room 328
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7536
email: district36@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 73
Mt. Vernon, Virginia 22121-0073
(703) 765-1150

Senator Mark R. Herring(D) -
Senate District 33
General Assembly Building, Room 322
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7533
email: district33@sov.state.va.us
P.O. Box 6246
Leesburg, Virginia 20178
(804) 730-1026

Senator A. Donald McEachin(D) -
Senate District 9
General Assembly Building, Room 318
Capitol Square
Richmond, Virginia 23219
(804) 698-7509
email: district09@sov.state.va.us
4719 Nine Mile Road
Richmond, Virginia 23223
(804) 288-3381

Thursday, January 24, 2008

more ramblings...

I still don't know where to start when I sit down to write. I can tell you a few things though. Without a doubt, working a 15 hour day is NOT a good idea. Yesterday just about killed me. Oh, and the old saying 'Never wake a sleeping baby' also holds true for someone in her first trimester. My stupid (oops, I mean wonderful) husband keeps waking me up. He doesn't want me to sleep too much. I'm about ready to kill him.

On to my mental health. I came to the realization Monday night, after staring at that little ultrasound picture but cautioning myself and not allowing myself not to think more than 1 week into the future, that I'm completely kidding myself. I'm certainly not protecting myself. If this whole thing heads south, there is no way on earth I could be prepared for it and I would most certainly be devastated. So...I decided to enjoy this and try to live my life like a regular pregnant (did you catch that....I said it) lady. I still know that we've got a long way to go, but one of the things the ultrasound tech said stuck with me. She kept pointing to the screen saying, "That's your baby". She did not say what was in my head, "That's a random clump of cells that may or may not become a baby in 9 more months". She simply said, "That's your baby" with a huge smile on her face. There's a big difference in those two sentences. I want to think positively. I'm currently more pregnant than I've ever been...and for all I know, this might be as much as I get. I'd much rather enjoy it, than be miserable.

Of course I say enjoy it, and I am, for the most part. Thing is, all day long, I'm really afraid that every time I open my mouth, copious amounts of vomit will spew forth. Now I'm not typically a puker...and I'm really hoping I don't become one. But pretty much all day long, I feel like I'm about to. It's much worse in the morning and at night. Mid day is when I get down right ravenous, eating one lunch around 11 and another at 1. I'm just crossing my fingers that it means the little heart is still beating.

Ok, enough rambling. Maybe someday I will put together a coherent post. Now it's back to bed for some DVR

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

whew...

We have a heartbeat! There was one little bean in there, measuring right on cue, 6 weeks 3 days. I can now breathe....at least for a few days. I don't think I have ever been as nervous or anxious before in my entire life. Our next ultrasound is Wed the 30th.

Ok, gotta run to work, just wanted to give you all a quick update. Thanks so much for all the hope and support. Once again, I am amazed and blessed to have met such an astounding group of women!

Sunday, January 20, 2008

ms. negative

**I am prefacing this but warning you all that this is going to be a very whiny and negative post...and I'm not really apologizing for it**

Before I tell you all about how my weekend went down, let me give you a little background on Mr H's brother and his wife. They just had their 2nd little girl a few months ago and are one of the most neurotic parents I have ever met in my entire life. You know the people...who act like no one else has ever raised a child before and make the biggest deal about everything and are crazy over-protective (my niece had to wear little knee pads when crawling...they didn't want to her scratch herself). Ok, so that is them. Now for the last few 5 weeks they have been trying to schedule the new baby's baby naming. Everyone gave the weekends they were available, yada, yada. Should be fairly easy, right? Now we were always planning on going up for this long weekend, driving up on Saturday so we could get a good night's sleep before not sleeping for days (my mother in laws house is the subject of a whole other post) but they told us a few weeks ago that this wouldn't be the weekend of the ceremony because none of the great grandparents could make it in.

On Tuesday, Mr H gets a call from his bro that the ceremony is on for this weekend, they don't care about the great-grandparents and just want to be done planning it. We need to be there at 8:45 Sat morning. So much for sleeping in. I arrange to be able to leave work a little early so we don't sit on the Jersey turnpike for too long and off we go.

As we get close, we give them a call. Usually when we drive in we'll pick up pizza and bring it to their house for dinner. Turns out my oldest niece is sick, so no dinner. After talking to them some more later, she has been sick for 3 weeks and her pediatrician said that I should in no way be around her, since they aren't sure exactly what this bug is. Fan-fucking-tastic. So we just drove 5 hours, re-arranged our schedules, and now I can't even see them. And they knew about this before planning the ceremony for this weekend.

So we don't sleep that night, get to temple right on time (no easy feat for someone who started experiencing morning sickness late last week) and are they there? No, of course not. Everyone is ready for them. The oldest is horribly sick and they can't get her out of the house, but refuse to leave her at home with someone, since they want her there for the ceremony. They finally show up, 35 minutes late, with the sickest looking child I have ever seen in my entire life. My heart just broke for her.

So we sit through the 3 hour service. I of course have to get up several times. Neither my bladder nor my stomach can go 3 hours right now. Head back to my sis-in-laws parents house for a little party. I am trying my best to steer clear of the sick niece with still getting some quality baby time with the new baby. We're there for about 3 hours and want to know the best part....there is no freaking food. A few things of biscotti and some cookies, that el-sicko decides to put her hands all over. I felt like I had the shakes by the time I was leaving, my little bag of snacks was only meant to get me through the service. Of course, we got in trouble for leaving early, but I really needed to eat (and yes, his brother and sis in law know about the IF and the pregnancy, so should have been slightly more understanding)

So another crappy nights sleep and we decided to head home today, instead of tomorrow. What's the point of being there if I can't even be in their house? Of course, no one understands why we're leaving early.

And for my last whiny note, while driving back home I got hit with a nasty cold. So that is pretty sucky.

I'm anxiously awaiting Tuesday's ultrasound. I go back and forth between feeling somewhat OK about it all, since I've got all-day sickness most of the time and being convinced that it is all phantom pains and all I'm going to see on Tuesday is an empty uterus--just like ever other ultrasound ever (I'm one of those people that never likes to see the screen during appointments, since it just looks empty). And then of course I get even madder at IF, since it took what should be a wonderfully exciting time for us and made me worry about every little thing.

I think I'm going to go to bed soon and sleep this all off. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off, I would not have been able to get up and go to work tomorrow.

(if you listened to my rantings for this long....thanks)

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Long time no blog

Sorry everyone. I've gone back and forth between not knowing what to say and not having the energy to type. Tons of thoughts running through my head though so this might be a long one!

- I caved and bought a book. And after not allowing it in the house for 2 days, I actually took it out of the car over the weekend. I realized late last week that I am really good at being infertile. I know alot about it. Ask me anything, if I don't know the answer, I'll be able to find it quickly. However, I know absolutely nothing about being pregnant (there, I said it). I'm afraid I am not going to be good at it. So I bought a book and proceeded to get annoyed with said book less than 1 chapter in because of this "We all know if takes 2 to conceive a baby but it takes a minimum of 3-mother, father, and...health care professional..." Really, took a few more than 3 people for me! So that book has been put down and I still know nothing.

- thank you for all of your help and suggestions about my blockage problems. With a careful diet of Kashi cereal for brekkie, prunes to snack on all day, and at least one other meal containing beans, I've gotten it under control. Gas, heartburn, and constant low grade nausea have stepped in. I'm not complaining though...in fact, I welcome every burp and stomach roll. Helps me make it to next Tuesday.

- I knew that newly p-word people are tired. I'm Ok with that because I love to sleep. What I did not expect was being drop dead exhausted...and not being able to sleep. I'm typically up for 2-3 hours each night, regardless of if I nap during the day, what time I go to bed, etc. Luckily, my boss sent me home today to take a nap and work the rest of the afternoon from home. (and look how I'm thanking her, by catching up on all your blogs and posting)

I swear I had a ton more posts in my head, but I have no idea where they went. Of course I'm convinced that they were my best thoughts yet...like when you forget to hit save and lose a paragraph of your paper. You re-write it, but you know what you originally had was SO much better than the drivel you're coming up with now. That's what this post is, drivel.

One week to ultrasound. We're heading up to Long Island this weekend for my niece's baby naming. So that's 3 days that will help me get my mind off it. We'll drive home Monday and then just one more sleep! I'm guessing we'll be stopping at every single rest stop between here and NY...my bladder has got a mind of its own lately.

Thanks again for the advice and support. I think I'd go crazy without all you ladies!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Lots of stuff

I haven't really posted alot this week because I really don't know what to say. This whole thing is surreal to me. I feel like I'm on an episode of P.unk'd or something. Any minute now I expect someone to jump out and tell me it's all a joke.

I'm slowly starting to accept the fact that right now, I'm the p-word. I know that doesn't translate into an actual baby but I'm going to try to be excited about it. All the old infertile thoughts are really hard to make go away. Take this morning for example, I called to schedule my u/s and my favorite receptionist answered the phone. I hadn't seen her the last time I was there and as soon as I said my name and what I was calling for, she got all excited, asked if I was p-word, and said congrats and how happy she was for me. Now this is not a story about how nice people at my clinic are, but rather, that all I could think about was the women in the waiting room and how that moment, while exciting for me since this is largely a secret, must have been torturous for them. I would have been miserable if, while sitting there waiting for my pre-dawn appointment with the dildocam, I heard that and would be posting about how insensitive they were, not how nice. Not sure what the whole point of that little story was...I guess just that I don't know how to think of myself.

I know how I'm feeling though and while I got some temporary relieve from the constipation, it came back rather quickly. I am so bloated from it all, and from all the water I'm drinking to help relieve it, that my pants barely fit. And this is disgusting but I'm farting constantly. I just can't stop myself, I hate it. It is cracking Mr H up though. Tuesday night I had a handful of the prunes and they did nothing. Last night, I ate about half the container and they worked their magic in the middle of the night. But now, right back to blockage. Makes me feel so sick. I might have to try the prune juice instead. Really not looking forward to that.

I scheduled my ultrasound for the Tuesday the 22nd. That is so far away. I could have made the appointment for that Monday instead but I really wanted my doctor to do it. And, in the alternate universe I'm now living in, would make me 6w3d, which gives us a decent shot of maybe seeing a heart beat. Not that I'm getting ahead of myself.

Thanks again for all the thoughts and good wishes. I've saved every single one, they make me cry

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

1024

no time for a real post, crazy meetings all afternoon but yeah!!! Can't get betabase open to figure out doubling time, but I know that 850 would have been exactly double.

Ultrasound will be scheduled for the 21st or 22nd.

Now back to convincing myself that the pains on my right side are a cyst

thanks for all the good thoughts and prayers

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

What not to wear

I've done this before. I should know better than to wear red undies. Every single time I went to the bathroom, my heart skipped a beat. I think I'm going to throw these out tonight.

Pretty sure I've got my first few symptoms. I am beyond constipated. I think we're almost at a week. And it's not pleasant. I bought myself a big ol bag of dried fruit and have been munching on it. Picking out the dried plums (what a nice euphemism) and making sure I eat those. I'm hoping it works some magic soon. I've also had horrible indigestion and heartburn the last two nights. Let me tell you, Indian was not a good choice. It made me bloated beyond belief. Not sure what to do about this one. I ate less for dinner tonight, hoping that helps.

Still having lots of cramps, which depending on my mood either make me feel better or worse. Lots of pains on my right side. Feels cyst-like. And since I had 3 follies on that side, I'm telling myself that's what it is.

Third beta is tomorrow morning. I'm not quite as nervous as I was last time, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't be checking my voicemail starting around 11-ish. Yes, I know full well they won't call until 2, but I'll still be checking just in case!

Sorry for the random collection of thoughts...that's the only way my mind can work right now

Monday, January 7, 2008

Over the first hurdle

Beta was 425 for a doubling time of 45.52 hrs. Today is 16 dpiui. I do not know who I became this afternoon but I really don't like her. Even though I know full well they don't start making calls until 1:30 to 2-ish, I still started checking my voicemail around 11:30. And I didn't get ANY work done because I kept checking every 3-5 minutes.

So for now, I'm sitting back and am going to enjoy this moment. For now, there's something growing in there. If Wednesday also has a good number, I'll have to come up with a new name for this little embie. For now, we've been calling it the "Maybe Baby" but I don't think that inspires much confidence.

On to other things, I forgot to post earlier today about the great time I had out with the DC ladies. Sorry I didn't get to spend more time with all of you. Who knew there was a Cosi on both sides of Dupont Circle??? Certainly not me! But LJ and I had a great little chat by ourselves before running across the circle to meet everyone else! Next time I promise to pay closer attention to directions.

Thank you all again for the good wishes and support. Seeing you guys in my inbox all day long was fantastic....got me through the day

No whammies

First, thank you for all of your words of encouragement and good wishes. I am so unbelievably blessed to have all of you ladies in my life.

This morning I feel like I'm in Las V.egas. All day I've been thinking "Big number, big number, no whammies, big number!" My fear is that just like in LV, the house always wins. Doesn't matter what game you're playing; injectibles, C.lomid, IUI, IVF...the IF Hotel and Casino has the edge.


I know this is a horribly negative way to think and I really do want to be excited and enjoy this moment but the truth is, I'm scared out of my mind. I go back and forth on if I'm having any symptoms. Definitely some cramping over the weekend, but for the most part that's gone. Other than that, most of the other symptoms can be blamed on the Pr.ometrium.

So nothing to do but wait...and keep thinking "big number, big number"!

Friday, January 4, 2008

142!!!!!!!!!!

I was hoping for something over 50, since it's still really early. Betabase has the average hCG for 13 dpiui as 36. But 142! That far exceeded my expectations. I have my follow ups on Monday and Wednesday. It's going to be a looong weekend, those pee sticks aren't going to know what hit'em! Well, they will, I just have a feeling I'm going to be grabbing one every time I go to the bathroom.

I had prepared myself for a lower number and had convinced myself that I wasn't going to get as caught up in everything as I did last time but the nurse's message was SO different. Last time she said things like, "well, it's officially positive" and "come back in 2 days, we need to ride this out." This time first thing she said "I have good news", said congrats 3 times, and that it was a nice high number given that I was testing early. Since she's a medical professional, she's got me all excited. I recognize that I only believe her when she says things I want to hear. That I'm like the woman with the cheating husband, ignoring the lipstick and being gone all hours and just focusing on the fact that he bought me some grocery store flowers.

I really need to protect myself. I know this isn't a sure thing. Neither one of us has mentioned the p-word yet. I remember back when we were first trying and every single cycle I would figure out my due date with those online calculators. I'd think of the season, what type of clothes I'd be wearing, would it be really hot, would I have to worry about slipping on ice? I thought all of these things monthly, and always got my heart broken. Still haven't gone to any of those sites and done that, I almost don't want to know. First, it would be admitting it and second, it would make it far too real. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely giddy with excitement, but I'm trying to do the cautious optimism thing.

thanks

Wow! Thanks for all those comments. I feel so loved!

Of course while picking up all everything for Mr H at the store last night, I had to pick up some more tests. This morning the line came up before the control and is really dark, so for now, there's something in there. I did get my beta moved up, so I'll have some actual info by this afternoon. I don't want to get ahead of myself but if it's positive (which I can't imagine it wouldn't be) my 2nd will be on Monday. That's when I'll feel better. I really need to experience a beta that goes up!

And thanks for the good thoughts for Mr H's surgery. It went well. Turned out we knew the surgeon who was going to be doing it. He's a friend of a friend and we've hung out with him a bunch. It was nice because he took some extra time to talk to us before the surgery and came out and found me in the waiting room afterwards and talked to me for awhile. I think some of the other family members out there got a little jealous. Most of the other doctors only talked to people for 2-3 minutes! And since he knew us, he didn't actually do the operation, the attending did, who happens to have been the one to radically chance this procedure a few years ago...so that made me feel better too! It was a long day but he's feeling much better today. Plus, he's cautiously excited for our good news ;)

I'll be sure to update later on when the nurse calls! Thanks again for keeping us in your thoughts

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Out of the shadows

We've moved from shadows to a light line! It took awhile to come up and I swear I got about 5 new grey hairs in those 5 minutes but there it is. I suddenly got scared that it was just the trigger still lingering around, but at this point, 12 dpIUI, that has to be long gone, right?

While Mr H is in surgery I'm going to beg and plead to move up beta. Hopefully I can get that tomorrow morning instead. I can't imagine they wouldn't let me. If not I'm out of tests so I will seriously need to stock up to make it through the weekend.

Ok, off to the hospital, keep us in your thoughts!

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Shadows

11dpiui+6:15 pm+bladder held for just under 2 hours=the lightest of shadows on my last dollar tree test. It is the type of shadow only someone with 30 cycles under her belt can make out (well, it's a bit darker than that).

There is no way it would show up in a picture and I'm certainly not going to start cleaning out the shoe room just yet, but it's hard not to feel the slightest hint of excitement. And it should be faint, because it's still a little early, right? I've got a first response left too and that wins the honor of the first pee of the day tomorrow. Not to get too far ahead of myself, but if that is also positive I'll be begging to move my beta up from Monday to Friday.

Again, I can't let myself get too worked up and I'm not saying anything to Mr H just yet since I can't bare to disappoint him again. Or myself, since I now have the pleasure of knowing just how fleeting a pregnancy can be and how much a chemical sucks. If I make it past 4 days of positive sticks and a beta that goes up instead of down, I'll consider this one better than the last.

Speaking of Mr H, please keep him in your thoughts, he's having sinus surgery tomorrow morning and is understandably nervous. The worst part to him is that his nose will be packed for 24 hours so he won't be able to breathe. Think of me too, since he can be a bad patient. Really, really hoping I have some good news for him when he comes out of surgery. I won't tell him beforehand.

In other news, I am loving Mel's Creme de la Creme. If you haven't checked it out yet, it's a must read. And if you haven't submitted a post yet, she's still accepting them. I started looking at it yesterday but decided to save it for the next 2 days while I'm housebound with the recuperating Mr H. It is such an amazing collection and really seems to be an accurate portrayal of the diverse group we are.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Google loves me...and other things

Back in November I wrote a post about my "happiness hangover" and boy is it getting crazy of hits today! The number of people asking poor google about hangover meds, what to do for a hangover, etc is insane! Is it possible that this is their first hangover?!? So now when they search, this will come up also and I will say without hesitation...RED GATORADE!! The absolute best thing to drink after being overserved!.

I have to say, the only hangover search query that bothered me was this one: pregnancy hung over. Not gonna lie, that one stung, a lot.

I'm in a much better state of mind then when I wrote my last post. Yes, not knowing what this year will bring is scary, but no more scary than what last year brought. So I've just got to pick myself up and keep on going.

I've been inspired to share some more pics so here goes:

This is the present that is constantly under my tree. If you look closely on his right, there is a Santa ornament that he has lovingly claimed as his own. No matter where I put it on the tree, he some knocks it down and drags it back to his little hideout.



Here's our dinner. Filets topped with lobster. Yum!!! It turned out so much better than I thought it would. It was made extra delicious by the small glass of wine I allowed myself. I've been really good this 2ww and since there's no real reason so I allowed myself to indulge. And wine is just SO good.


And lastly, dessert! I made way too much chocolate so I got a little crazy and just started dipping pretty much anything in there. The turd like things on the bottom right are almond cluster. They were the surprise hit of the night.


So welcome 08, I'm ready for whatever you bring!