Sunday, September 21, 2008

I'm a liar

I have no groove whatsoever. Friday night was probably her worst ever. We could not put her down or she'd scream bloody murder. Being the bad mom that I am, I did not read in the baby book until saturday afternoon that between 2-3 weeks is a growth spurt and she's going to want to eat more often. So last night we picked up the feedings and she did a little bit better. But me, I've got no groove, who the hell am I kidding??

I have turned back into my OCD self and am completely over-analyzing every single feeding. It's just what I do...and its a whole new world for me to google. The LC says we should be doing 10 a side at each feeding, all of the books say a full feeding is at least 15 minutes (one says 15 a side, no way she'd ever do that). She typically does a 10 and then 2-3 minutes on the other one. So of course now I obsess that she isn't eating enough. I'm going to give the LC a call in a little bit....this is why people should never give me their home phone number ;) We're going in for a weight check tomorrow so that will put my mind at ease for a little bit. I tried to convince Mr H to let me buy a scale but no luck...aside from the fact that it is an outrageous idea, I would get even more obsessed.

Ok--still trying to finish the thank you notes from my shower that was now a full 4 weeks ago...see I have NO groove

23 comments:

mo*reezy said...

I'm sure she's absolutely FINE. My doula/LC says not to watch the clock, watch the baby. When she's done, she's done - unless the pediatrician says her weight isn't good, and then you increase the frequency of feedings. But again, I'm sure she (and you) is FINE.

Fertilized said...

Don't you worry about the time the feeding lasts if her weight is increasing. Many never make it to 10 or 15 mins. As long as the weight is increasing baby is thriving.

In and Out of Luck said...

She sounds fine. And losing interest after one breast is done is pretty normal. As long as she's peeing and pooping consistently. And as for the sharps container? I'd mail it to the RE, with a thank you note.

infertility just sucks said...

YES - Thank you notes! I used to be so very prompt and good about writing them and I don't even have a baby yet and I just can't do them on time like I used to.

Jennifer said...

I have no real advice...since I have never been thru this myself! I'm sure I'll be experiencing all this very soon. And I'm sure whatever you're doing is exactly what you need to be doing!!! Good luck at the DR visit.

Not on Fire said...

For my 2 cents worth, you cannot look to a book for how many minutes is normal. There is a huge variation in flow between women. I know for myself also between breasts. Talk to your doctor. It sounds fine to me.

Leah said...

I called Kevin in to read your post. We both just shook our heads, it's as if I could have written this 4 years ago with Megan. I said, "I'm sorry that she's having all this stress, but damn I sure do feel better about myself!" I explained that I knew you to be a normal, highly functioning adult pre-baby and now that little sub-10 pound bundle of joy has made you feel like you've got no groove. I believe my exact words were, "Man, it just jacks up the best of women, doesn't it?"

Hang in there, everything will be fine. I told you my spreadsheet could be used by NASA to launch the Space Shuttle. I was so far gone that I couldn't understand why everyone thought I'd gone around the bend. I really had. But you haven't, you're just enjoying normal worries and questions.

Keep up the good work, talk to the LC all you want, and lean on your buddies for assvice.

xo

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I overanalyze every nursing session too. In my case, Harry will nurse for what seems like too long (25-30 minutes per breast, often having to be unlatched), making me wonder if I'm underproducing or having let-down issues. I'm sure she's fine -- as Maresi said, definitely don't worry unless the pedi says you should, and then increasing frequency should help.

battynurse said...

Hope you find that groove again. I too would say she is likely just fine. Like others say, as long as her weight is increasing I don't think that worrying about how long she feeds is the issue.

Bean said...

Oh sweetie, I hate to sound like the old Hen here, but my kid will be 6 years old in 3 days and every time I think I've found a groove she throws me for a loop. Hang in there -- I'm sure you're both doing great!

Jendeis said...

Agreeing with everyone above. I'm sure that both of you are doing fine. Just remember that you also need to eat, sleep and take showers. :)

Amelia Sprout said...

I did the same thing, she's likely just fine. If she wanted to eat more, she would. Around that age they get really good at eating and will start picking up the pace.
M never eat on more than one side after the first week or so, she's about to be weaned and is still a one sider.
I know it is hard, but relax and enjoy it.

Deborah said...

I don't know, I'm skeptical of any LC who makes you feel bad for not meeting a certain time limit (or rather, who emphasizes time to the point where you start to feel bad). I'm pretty sure weight gain and peeing/pooping are the best indicators of whether your baby's getting enough food.

I know the hospital near me has a daily BFing support time where you can just walk in and weigh your baby if you want. Anything like that near you?

Jen said...

Maybe she is super efficient. What takes most babies fifteen minutes only takes her ten. I'm sure you are doing just fine.

Julia said...

I am sorry to say, but I am not super impressed with your LC either. You know how the first milk that comes out is a lot more watery than the stuff later? And, consequently, the hind milk is where all the calories are? And the nice fat she needs to build her brain and her body? Not surprisingly then, switching the baby to the second breast because of the time (rather then because she has finished off everything there was in the first one) results in a very well hydrated hungry baby. Is there another LC you can see for a second opinion?

And the groove? It's a lie, I tell you. I think it helps to redefine what a groove is. If we are all alive and kicking at the end of the day, I call it totally grooving.

sara said...

You do have a groove there girl - you're just doing everything to be a good mom and no one can fault you for that. Any little one would be lucky to have someone so concerned and caring as you for a mom - so keep your head up. I can see you "groove" thing all the way from over here, LOL! I hope you had a good appointment today and I'm sorry I don't have any great advice since I have no experience yet myself. In a couple of months I'll be looking to people like you and Farah for some big time pointers, okay? So hang in there - I think you're doing a great job...(hugs)

Geohde said...

Trust me, you're doing absolutely great.

Babies make wonderful worry facilitators for their parents!

J

Kim said...

My second girl never, ever nurses for more than 10 minutes per side unless she falls asleep nursing. But I was told specifically to let her finish the first side to get the hind milk to enhance those rolls of fat around her wrists and thighs. She has been gaining weight at a healthy rate despite taking no time at all to nurse.

I'm sure you guys are doing great... good luck!

Dr. Grumbles said...

Don't fret too much - sounds like you are doing your best.

Karen said...

Meghan, THROW AWAY YOUR WATCH (clock, whatever). A nursing mother should not be guided or restricted by the clock. You should be guided only by your baby and her signals. Do not worry about how long she is nursing on each side. REALLY. I'm shocked that your LC even suggested that she should be nursing any particular amount of time. Remember that book that I told you to get? The one by Dr. Jack Newman? One of the first things he says in it is to THROW AWAY YOUR WATCH.

She's doing fine, and you're doing great. Babies can't tell time. Really. Stop worrying so much. :)

I have a baby scale, so don't buy one. But the truth is you don't need one. I had to have one because I had a genuinely failure to thrive baby and I needed to know how much she was taking in per feeding, but it's easy to turn having a baby scale into a compulsion.

Morrisa said...

I think you are doing great! Not that I have any clue what I am talking about but I am OCD too so I totally understand!

Bean said...

Don't let her fool you -- she and The Sweetness look great! FYI, I just tagged you over at my page.

Yoka said...

Meghan, Did you get my email???