How do you explain the friendships and bonds that we form through the blogosphere? Mel called it liminal friends in this post here and I think it fits. This morning, after reading Sunny's latest post, I sat in my office sobbing. My heart was breaking for her. True, it all did bring me back to when we got the call to go down to Mr H's dad because "any day now" the tumor in his brain was going to reach his brain stem and stop him from breathing, and to my mom's ultimately successful battle with uterine cancer 3 years ago, and to my aunt's current fight with breast cancer, and to my strong amazing grandmother fighting ovarian cancer for the 2nd time at 85 years old! But she is all I've been thinking about all day long. As I sat there, my office mate (and good friend) walked in and immediately gave me a hug, probably thinking it was something with the baby, my aunt, or grandmother. Instead, I said my friend got bad news about her mom. Since we both know all of each other's friends, she started asking who. I just got so flustered. I mumbled some random crap about not being from around here and then finally just said she was an old, close friend. Funny how I consider someone I've met only 2-3 times in real life an old dear friend. Yet, she (and all of you) definitely know more about me that many of my closest friends.
I just didn't know how to explain or define it. To say you all are my "internet friends" not only sounds lame, but I think minimizes how important all of you are to me and how deeply connected I feel to everyone.
Not sure exactly what the point of this post is...just me sort of dumping. I've just been in a really weird place lately. Again, not sure why. Really hoping that the start of spring break tomorrow changes my mood
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About Me
- Meghan
- This is a little bit about me, my hubby, and our journey to start a family.
Blogger Bingo
Total out of pocket expenses to date
$3487.41~that includes various co-pays, 1 CD 3 bloodwork and 1 ultrasound for testing, HSG, 2 betas, IUI #1 (meds, 3x b/w and u/s, IUI, and beta), IUI #2 (meds, 3x u/s, 2x b/w, IUI)
Our timeline
- Jan 22 saw heartbeat at 6w3d...guess it's real
- 18 dpiui beta = 1077!
- 16dpiui beta = 450
- 13dpiui beta = 121
- Dec 07- IUI #2- 50 mg C.lomid + 150 IU F.ollistim = BFP!
- Nov 07- IUI #1-50 mg C.lomid + 75 IU f.ollistim = BFN
- Nov 5- BFN, beta dropped to less than 5, chemical pregnancy
- Nov 1-BFP on 4 HPT--what a suprise!!!!
- October 07-Sept was annovulatory, waiting on AF to start first IUI
- September 07-on the bench
- August 07- officially diagnosed with "unexplained fertility", going to start with IUI
- July/August 07- CD 3 bloodwork all normal, HSG all clear!!!
- June 07-finally get first RE appt!
- March 07- CD 21 progesterone test showed I didn't ovulate that month, Hubby's SA came back with low morphology. Gyno referred us to an RE
- Feb 07- scheduled appt with gyno, charting showed late O and probably LPD
- June 06- got serious! Started charting and using CBEFM
- June 05- went off bcp, sometimes preventing, sometimes trying, not taking the whole thing too seriously
- April 05- We got married!!
11 comments:
You have blessed my heart. I am sorry I was on your heart so heavy today but it means the world. I feel your strength around me. Thank you for being an amazing friend.
I think we definately connect to people through here more than some of our other friends in our daily life because we share a journey that is so similar, but so different than most other people we have in our lives.
I think your post hits it right on the head. I know I am so blessed to have met such wonderful women whom I hope to be lucky enough one day to meet in person. ((hugs))
Nothing significant to add, but just wanted to say Ditto and Amen to everything that you and the above commenters have written.
I also wanted to thank you for your kind comments the other day. :)
I agree. My internet friends are sometimes more real to me than people I know in the real world. I have lots more internet friends than real world friends too.
Sometimes it is worth explaining how you know your blog friends, other times it is not worth your energy. It's all ok.
I typically say, "my dear blog friend." I realize that some people might think this is weird but, then again, I met my husband online so I stopped caring about people's reactions about meeting someone through the internet first. If I do worry about what they think, though, (which I do more than I would like to admit), I say something about how my blog friends have been a lifesaver to me while dealing with IF.
But I tend to give more information than necessary. So I think you should say whatever you are comfortable with.....
Sorry you are in a funny headspace these days. Do you think it is the hormones? Would it help to try to get it out on your blog?
XOXO
For me, internet friends are an important supplement to my regular group of friends. Through blogs or message boards, I am able to "meet" those who are going through something similar to me and who I can many times better relate to. They are a constant source of encouragement and a sounding board for my thoughts. As important as it is to have "real, live" friends, it is usually impossible for them to fill the hole that internet friends do. But yes, it is difficult to explain that to everybody else sometimes.
I also hate the term "internet friends". If we meet someone at the grocery store and form a friendship, are they "grocery store friends"?
I consider all of you my dear friends and you certainly know the deepest depths of my soul - more than my own family even.
My heart also breaks for Sunny. There just aren't any words and no one should have to go through that.
I definitely know what you mean, both in relation to the IF blogosphere and before. I met my DH on an internet discussion board and even before meeting him in person he was a major part of my life, and I never knew how to tell people stories that involved him.
P.S. - I "tagged" you, details on my blog if you want to play.
I have caught myself telling stories about something that happened to "my friend" and realized that I was referring to someone I had never actually met. It is a unique and rewarding bond we all form after some time.
There is a deep connection that's hard to explain...hope you're feeling better.
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