Here you go, something real, as opposed to me just posting a news link and ranting for a few lines here and there. But before I do that, I have one more link I need to post. This post from our wonderful Mel...wow...talk about powerful...it's just perfect. I wish I could comment on it half as eloquently as she wrote it. I even forwarded it along to Mr H so he would hopefully understand a little bit of my funk. And he did, so a big thanks to Mel for that.
Still in and out of my funk. I've figured out my biggest trigger and am working to avoid it. Problem is, that trigger is my mother and she's pretty much obsessed with me and Q right now. I won't go into it all but here's a small sampling. Apparently, in early December, right as IUI #1 was failing and I was still drowning from the incredible mindfuck of the chemical pregnancy mess in November, she bought extra stocking holders and Baby's First Ch.ristmas ornaments. Why you ask....because she had faith in me and knew I could do it. I tried to rationally explain that none of this was about me, it as about science and drs and just how hurtful some of those comments were. And then of course, before my Level II ultrasound, I mentioned how nervous I was and all I really cared about was everything being ok. Of course she told me not to worry...because I wouldn't let anything bad happen to the baby. Which once again, puts any past and potential failures squarely on my shoulders. There's been more but I'll spare you the drama. I feel a little bad, since little by little I'm cutting her out of this pregnancy but I often end up in such a downward spiral after talking with her.
Other than my random funks, things are going fairly well. Very noticeable belly at this point and Mr H can feel Q most of the time. I've got an OB appointment tomorrow morning. Once again, I have a list of questions, a long list. Big things I want reassurance on are my cervix length (it was 2.8 at my u/s and from what I read, in a singleton while the minimum is 2.5 they like it 3 and over) and the fact that my uterus HATES traffic. I've got a 40-60 minute commute each way and I get 2-3 b.raxton h.icks each way. Aside from then, I hardly ever get them. And the other times makes sense...a hard kick, really full bladder, etc. I even stumped g.oogle. I've tried changing the lumbar thing, re-arranging my seat belt, seat angle...pretty much everything I can think of. Anyone else have this? It's very random and started getting bad about a week ago. Really makes me dread getting up and going to work. Today I decided to do some work from home and then go in around 10, since without traffic it's only a 20 minute drive.
I know I should have more to write about. Things have been crazy on all fronts. My brother's getting married next weekend. Very excited though that I bought a bridesmaids dress a few sizes too big and it worked! Seamstress is just going to take out the boning (no flat belly corset for me) and adjust some of the rouching on it. It looks great! And it is very nice to not be crash dieting before a wedding...first time I think!
No promises, but I'm going to try to be a better poster/commentor. I miss you all!