I'm finally back to feeling 100% (well, probably 85...whose ever really at 100 anyway?). It was pretty much just a 24 hour bug. I am just such a baby when it comes to being sick.
Had my day 3 appointment today. I was very happy that it didn't include bloodwork since I'm not a fan of the phlebotomist that was working this morning. Not sure why not though. Ultrasound showed no cysts (yeah) and 6 antral follicles on the right and 4 on the left. Yes, the exact opposite of last month. I still would like that to be higher, but there's not much I can do about it.
So I start ion my 50mg Clom.id tonight through Sunday. Friday and Sunday I've got 150 of F.ollistim. My next ultrasound is on Tuesday. I was so excited to start meds last month and I'm just not feeling it this time. I know I haven't been cycling anywhere near as long as some other people and that I'm just doing IUI. I just can't help but wonder how much of this I can take. Can my heart really break every 30 days and still somehow be whole the rest of the time? I don't know.
I also realized that I just want to be a mom. Yes, that probably seems obvious to many people. But I used to think I wanted to be pregnant. Now, not as much. Yes I would still like to experience pregnancy, but all I really want is the mom part. But now, to me, pregnancy seems like the means to the end. I don't care how I end up getting to be a mom, that part isn't as important to me. Long before we got married, Mr H and I always said that if we wanted more than 2 children, we'd adopt. So I've started to research it a bit. Thing is, I want to somehow protect myself from the heartache of cycling....and adoption doesn't do that. Nothing does really. So I'm not sure which path to take.
Had a very interesting drive to the clinic this morning. They had Rt 50 closed for a motorcade of motorcycle cops dressed up as Santa. There had to have been at least 50 bikes with half of them dressed up as Santa. It made me smile though. Definitely not something you see every day. At least when I called in late to work it was a novel reason.