Turns out I'm not the 0.001% that has a false negative on a pee stick! But they did say I could continue on the Pr.ometrium for a day so I'll be able to go away. I completely agree with those of you who said that IF has taken so much away from us. I can not let it take this too. My aunt has been like a second mother to me. At times growing up I was closer to her than to my own mom. There is NO way I could not be there to celebrate her 60th birthday with her.
Now while I did say I was Ok..well...that's a lie. So please indulge me in my few minutes of wallowing, whining, and tears. And recognize that there have been several glasses of wine involved tonight. Here is why I needed this cycle to work. In June 2006 at my annual exam, my gyno looked over my charts and told me to give it 6 more months. She said if I wasn't pregnant at Thanksgiving, to call and make an appointment. Every single day in December I put off making that phone call. As much as I knew there was a problem...and I wanted to fix it....I just couldn't say it out loud, or admit it. Finally, right before Christmas, AF showed up again. The very next day, I got up the strength to call and make my appointment. The only way I did was by telling myself over and over again that Christmas 06 was going to be the last Christmas I spent child-less. I promised myself that I would at least be pregnant by Christmas 07. And I'm not. And I am not ok with that.
Ok, I've cried my tears and will move on, I just had to get that out. It sucks to break a promise, especially one you made to yourself. And on a lighter note, looking at a calendar, IUI #2 just might fall on Christmas Eve...meaning there's still a chance I could be pregnant for Christmas 07...I just wouldn't know it at the time ;)
thanks for all the hugs...I love them!!