Thursday, September 20, 2007

today's horoscope

I love it when I can pull something good out of my horoscope. For all the Geminis out there:

It's as if there is a something attaching your emotions to everything you encounter now and your regular lightheartedness isn't enough to shake it.

I am usually the most upbeat, positive person and I don't like who I've become lately. I'm bitter, I snap quickly, I pick fights with poor Mr H all the time for no reason, I'm moody and it just sucks. There is something attached to everything I do all day long and I can't get rid of it. It's the ultimate chip on the shoulder.

I'm not sure what to do about it. I used to think recognizing it is the first step. But I've recognized it before but it takes work to really shake it. Kinda like those 30 pounds I'm losing. I recognize I've gained it, and last week I was gung-ho about it, but now I've stopped putting in the work. I do the same thing with my attitude and mental health. I get on this "I'm going to be happy" kick but then stop putting in the work after a week or so. Maybe because being happy never used to be work....and I still think it shouldn't be.

All I know is that I don't want to be this way, feeling like crap and spewing my negative vibes all over the place. It's too damn exhausting.


Diana said...

I think you put it perfectly when you said that being happy didn't used to require work. I have felt that way many times in the past 18 months. Sometimes focusing on the good in your life just isn't enough with that big gaping hole in your heart.

Hugs to you.

Fertilize Me said...

WOW - i hear ya on this post! It is extreme work for me

infertility just sucks said...

Yes! What is up with having to work at it now? It's like being infertile permeates everything for me. I just can't let things be; everything is tainted by this one huge personal disappointment.

I keep trying to do the same thing - really work on my attitude and be silly and happy and glad like I used to be. But I'm not sure how to do it anymore. It's, to say the least, frustrating.

Pamela Jeanne said...

It's been a struggle, but I think I've regained my Gemini spirit (I'm June 12 - what's your bday?)