No, this isn't the Song of the Week post, I'm a little behind this week.
This is all about me trying to get through the next 30 days or so before we can start our IUI. And the worst part is...I picked this! We could have started right now, but we decided to sit out a cycle. It made complete sense at the time. It would give us time to figure out all of our insurance stuff, I was feeling really rushed way back when we had to make the decision, and my brother is getting married May 24th and I thought I'd have a better chance of making it to the wedding if we started treatment cycles in October instead of September.
All of those reasons still make sense. And they're all pretty much still true (our insurance is still a pain in the ass, I'll probably always be scared when we start this, and my brother is still engaged).
Problem is I'm stuck waiting. And waiting is not a strength of mine. And I'm putting a crazy amount of pressure on myself this cycle. This is our last chance naturally, our last chance before requiring a team of people with a whole lot of letters after their name, our last chance to have the fairy tale. Now there is no reason to think that this cycle will be any different. But I know that I'm going to be extra neurotic and extra hopeful...and I'm just not sure what I'm going to do about it. It just sucks to knowingly set yourself up for a fall.