Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Wake me up when September ends....

No, this isn't the Song of the Week post, I'm a little behind this week.

This is all about me trying to get through the next 30 days or so before we can start our IUI. And the worst part is...I picked this! We could have started right now, but we decided to sit out a cycle. It made complete sense at the time. It would give us time to figure out all of our insurance stuff, I was feeling really rushed way back when we had to make the decision, and my brother is getting married May 24th and I thought I'd have a better chance of making it to the wedding if we started treatment cycles in October instead of September.

All of those reasons still make sense. And they're all pretty much still true (our insurance is still a pain in the ass, I'll probably always be scared when we start this, and my brother is still engaged).

Problem is I'm stuck waiting. And waiting is not a strength of mine. And I'm putting a crazy amount of pressure on myself this cycle. This is our last chance naturally, our last chance before requiring a team of people with a whole lot of letters after their name, our last chance to have the fairy tale. Now there is no reason to think that this cycle will be any different. But I know that I'm going to be extra neurotic and extra hopeful...and I'm just not sure what I'm going to do about it. It just sucks to knowingly set yourself up for a fall.

5 comments:

Sunny said...

Waiting SUCKS! I am constantly living in it!

LJ said...

That just bites, I am so sorry you are sitting on the bench this cycle. I'd tell you not to put pressure on yourself, but I do the saaaaaame thing.

Fertilize Me said...

I could have written this post June-August. I can COMPLETELy relate to hte whole natural cycle pressers - senidng you lots of happy thoughts

Kristen said...

I'm sorry about the waiting. It is so hard to sit out and feel like you're wasting time.

I'm sending you hugs and I'm hoping that maybe you'll get a nice surprise while you wait :)

Busted said...

I'm with you. HATE the waiting. It will be October before you know it though...

-Schmoodle (bustedbabymaker.blogspot.com)