Thursday, November 15, 2007

How did we get here?

That's what I spent last night thinking about. How on earth did we get here. I actually started this post the night of my first C.lomid. I know it's pretty low tech compared with so many of the other treatments out there. Kind of like being in awe of an electric screwdriver when everyone around you is building houses....or something lame like that. But seriously, I do not completely understand how I got to this point.

And tonight's my first injection. So naturally I picked about 3 fights with Mr H last night. Only one of which I had a legitimate reason for being mad at him. Anytime I mention being nervous about the injections, he makes some stupid comment about imagine I'm a diabetic, then I'd be doing it every day. Well I'm not! And it's not insulin I'm injecting, to keep myself alive, it's massive amounts of hormones, in the hopes of creating the possibility of getting pregnant. Very different situations. And then last night I was watching the video from the RE and I'm flinching every time the model injects herself (which btw, who signs up for that acting gig??). Turn around, Mr H says no big deal and pretends to do it to himself a few times. Easy for it to be no big deal for him, it's all pretend to him.

So that was our real fight and then I picked stupid fights with him for the rest of the night. Between my catastrophizing all night long and those stupid night sweats/hot flashes I got no sleep. I'm sitting here in bed exhausted, trying to get up the energy to get in the shower and go to work late and all I can keep thinking is...how did I get here?? And I don't have an answer.

5 comments:

Jen said...

Injections suck. My husband is diabetic. His making-it-easier suggestions:

Insert the needle slowly and pay attention to what hurts. He can make an injection hurt a lot less just by being careful when he inserts it.

He keeps his needles in the fridge. Originally, this was just to keep them near his insulin, which has to be kept cold, but he found that the cold needles didn't hurt as much.

Some injection sites hurt more than others, based on how many nerves you happen to hit. If you find a really bad one, take the needle out and start again. The actual medicine hurts more than the needle stick, so it can be much less painful to stick yourself twice than to inject in a really uncomfortable spot.

I don't know if all these will be applicable to Clomid, but maybe they will help! Oh, and tell your husband that my husband is diabetic and he still hates needles and thinks it really sucks! You're right!

JJ said...

Injections = no fun...AND stress! Im sorry you had some fights with your husband-this IF stuff REALLY can wear and tear on a relationships, even in the smallest ways. I mourn the days before we knew all this stuff...I want the "old us" back. It takes work to stay focused on each other in "injection mode" =) I hope it gets easier!

Cece said...

OK - I have a similar story about stupid husbands. So. I'm standing there with my butt bare waiting for my shot. He is fiddling around with the needles, drawing up the injections, and finding the alcohol wipes... and he starts to lecture me on how much work this is for him and how I don;t understand.

I lost it. I DON'T UNDERSTAND? HOW MUCH WORK!?!?!? Auuuugh! Here I am - fucking around with my body and going in for blood draws and vag. u/s and drawing up the freaking needles and injecting me is HARD WORK!!!!

Poor guy. I'm sure my reaction was over the top because of the meds, but honestly. Come on. Poor baby, having to give me a shot everyday.

The Town Criers said...

The first injection is so hard, but you'll feel like superwoman afterwards.

Oh--and in the same vein as cold needles, use an ice cube and numb the site for a minute right before you inject. You won't feel it. It's still creepy to see your hand on the needle, but at least it won't hurt.

Ms Heathen said...

Thank you so much for this post: I'm currently psyching myself up for my first cycle of IVF, and wondering exactly the same thing - you really did manage to sum up how I'm feeling.

Congratulations on getting through the milestone of that first injection: I'll definitely be following some of the tips other people left in the comments when we start treatment next month.