Thursday, November 1, 2007

Talk me down

I'm standing up on Evaporation Line Ledge and I'm ready to jump. F that, I've already jumped.

I got up at 5 this morning having to pee. Not wanting to waste that FMU I naturally POAS. It's what I do. As I did it I told myself I was being ridiculous and I needed to get over this bullshit and get my ass back to bed. So that's what I did.

Fast forward to 7:30 when I woke up for real. What's staring up at me? A fucking second line! That has NEVER happened ever. Any time I check later in the day I've never had an evap line (is it lame that I usually keep checking for the next 2-3 hrs? Oh well). I had just gone to the bathroom so I had nothing left to take another test. And now I'm at work and have a private client later on tonight. I won't be home to test again until after 8. At that point I may as well wait until tomorrow morning when it's more likely to be accurate. Now I know in my brain that this is most likely an evap line but I can't help but wonder. Mr H was no help, he's always a super realist. And not being the pee stick connoisseur that I am, he thought is was negative because it wasn't as dark as the control (btw, it was dark enough for me to see without my glasses...and I'm legally freaking blind) Evap lines aren't that dark, are they?

My nurse doesn't work on Thursday's and I don't want to call and set up an appointment for nothing. Although on the flip side, if it is nothing, that still doesn't explain why I O'd 2 weeks ago and have nothing but some brown spotting to show for it.

So please, I know I've already gone over the ledge and will be devastated tomorrow morning if I get a negative, but please, any stories of hope? Of this not being an evap line? I took a picture this morning but I was a little embarrassed that I used my wine glass (rinsed of course) from last night since I didn't have any more paper cups. I didn't realize it and by then didn't have time to take another pic. And I thought if this does all work, having the wine glass in the picture could make me a bad mom to be. AHhhhh.....why did I say that??? See I've gone over that ledge. I don't know how I'm going to make it through today.

If you read all this and still have any shed of respect left for me....thanks


Fertilize Me said...

HOLY girl........... wow. I have no advice , just prayers

Shelby said...

I've never gotten an evap line either. I guess my only advice is to take another test in the morning. Or after a few hours tonight if you don't want to wait. I'm sending lots of hugs your way! Good luck.

Jen said...

My fingers are crossed for you!

Erin said...

If you have the willpower to wait until tomorrow morning then I have the utmost respect for you! When I was in doubt I actually took one at work. Granted it was a temp job, but still! I say try to hold it as much as you can and do it tonight! Maybe get a digital too. That's what it took for my husband to believe. He couldn't understand how even if the 2nd line was lighter, it was still a +.

I am crossing EVERYTHING for you!

Geohde said...

Plenty of respect.

Here's hoping that it isn't an evap, but HCG.



Diana said...

ooooooohhhhhh! I am hoping, hoping, hoping you see 2 big beautiful lines tomorrow!!! This sounds soooo promising!

chicklet said...

I don't know anything about evaporating lines but ack, it'd be cool if it was real!? THinking very good thoughts for you.