Monday, November 26, 2007

Jekyl and Hyde

That's me today...and that's pretty much how this post reads. I'm bulleting so I can get everything out easiest.
  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE my RE. Seriously. And I know I shouldn't announce my love for him this much since he does get all up in my business and there's a possibility he impregnated me (as an aside, I so want to get this shirt if I get pregnant). On Sunday he called to see if I had any questions following the IUI. Monday morning I emailed him a few of my questions. He called back a few hours later and then after leaving me a voicemail, replied to all of my questions via email. I am going to start expecting this responsiveness from all my doctors! True, I pay him a bit more than a regular ol doc, but I'm still impressed.
  • My questions were all about our next cycle (for my mental health, I need to keep moving forward and thinking of plan b). I thought we had a pretty sucky response to the cl.omid and folli.stim. He didn't think just one follicle was a bad thing. I want to be slightly more aggressive and he is thinking Cl.omid again, but this time with Fo.llistom on CD 5 and 7, instead of 9. Not sure what I'm thinking. I need to ask him a few more questions. My biggest concerns are that we only have 6 IUI's covered lifetime. And pie in the sky thinking, I'd like to have 2 kids. Which brings me to my next point...(and brings out the Hyde)
  • Why on earth do people seem to think I should only have 1 child? Just because I'm infertile am I not entitled to that american dream of 2.4 kids and the picket fence? Don't get me wrong, I will be beyond thrilled if I have a child but am I supposed to completely give up my dream of a large family? When I've mentioned this lifetime benefit and our plan for 2 children, two different people have expressed shock that we would want more than one child.
  • Not sure how I'm going to handle the whole dr thing. I want to walk that fine line between successfully advocating for myself and respecting his knowledge and opinions. It's a pet peeve of mine when my clients or parents of students don't walk that line with me and I do not want to be the name in his inbox that causes him to cringe (since I have more than a few of those)
  • my freaking boobs! They HURT! Not quite as much as last month's chemical but still more than any other cycle. I know, I know, it's the meds. At this point, if it's not a pregnancy symptom, I don't want to deal with it. I don't need another part of my body with bruises on it.

Ok, ranting over. Any assvice on the meds or anything else is welcome. And thanks for putting up with me


Fertilize Me said...

increased doses of follistim or clomid? if you want more aggressive ?

Jen said...

Do you read Tertia's blog? She jokes that one of her twins looks just like her RE.

About the six IUI's covered lifetime. If you switch insurances ever, that should reset. So, say you are covered under your husband's job now, but you could take coverage under your job (for both of you). It should even work if you switch back to your husband's insurance again after being on a different insurance. I don't know anything about your personal insurance situation, but you might be able to find a loophole like that. It might even be worth looking at new jobs someday. (I work in recruiting, I see lots of people that switch jobs all the time.) So, don't think you are necessarily done after your six. It might even be worth turning down insurance during an annual re-enrollment period, paying for cheap insurance yourself, and then re-enrolling in work insurance. You'd have to crunch the numbers really carefully to make sure you end up ahead on that plan. And be careful to never have a lapse, obviously. (I also do all the benefits for my office.)

Kristen said...

You are not at all insane for thinking of having more than 1 child. I guess people think that because it's been so hard that we should just cut our losses or something.

I often wonder what will happen if we are lucky enough to get #1. Will we decide to stick with a family of 3 or will we go through the rigamarole again? It's definitely a hard thing to consider. I always wanted 3 kids. It's funny how our life goals can change in just a few years.

I hope the boobs are a sign of something POSITIVE! XOXO

jenna sais quoi said...

I second the hope that the sore boobs are more than just the progesterone talking!

And jen makes an interesting point. I never would have thought of that loophole!

peesticksandstones said...

Thanks for that link to the t-shirts! I am so getting one someday (hopefully).

I hear you about the wanting-more-than-1 thing. Especially since I'm an only child myself. It's something I'm constantly figuring and re-figuring in my head and re-adjusting with every roadblock (well, if I can just have my first baby before I turn 31, make that 32, errr, 33?)

Shelby said...

Love, love, love the t-shirt!!

Jen's right- it should reset if you ever switch insurance. Thank goodness!

And, I really do hope that the sore boobs are a positive sign! My fingers are crossed for you!!

jennifercarol said...

I had the opposite situation the other day where my MIL went on and on about how we should make sure not to have only one kid. And while I definitely want more than 1, its hard enough just to deal with getting pregnant the first time, you know?

But I certainly agree that you are not crazy to want more than one even with IUIs. And hopefully you can take advantage of one of these loopholes.

Michell said...

I agree on the wanting more than one child. To satisfy my longings I find myself insanely wishing for twins. As far as the getting more agressive with IUI's I would ask. I would guess they start off slow because of wanting to avoid high order multiples but I'm with you, I want results for my money. And I personally am done with Clomid.

Heather said...

if you want 6 children, you are not only entitled to WANT that, but you can strive for it, cry for it, whatever. pooh on those people for trying to snuff out your dream. whoever said achieving our dreams was easy? well, we never thought it would be THIS hard, but you know what I mean.

crossing fingers that sore boobs = positive!!

JJ said...

Its so hard to think past #1 child, isnt it? But damnit, we are entitled to the 2.4 kids too!
Hope the sore boobs are a GOOD sign=)

Maria said...

I too want a big family. And whenever I tell people this, they always roll their eyes. As if saying "good luck with that" since I can't even get pregnant once. It's beyond frustrating and totally insensitive.

I have had to be very pushy and outspoken (which is not easy for me) with my RE. And she's definitely not as nice as yours. Stand up for what you want, even if you feel ridiculous asking for it. It's your body and your life. No one else cares as much as you.

Sadly, I'm not a MA native. I hail from MI, but I love living here. And yes the insurance is a huge factor in me continuing to live out here. It's either MA or IL (since they both cover IVF).

Good luck!!

Geohde said...

The response to Clomid can be a variable thing, I'd personally save it for cycles where you're not betting a precious IUI opportunity on it. I mean just look at my most recent CLomid cycle, not pretty in the least, but I've also had three follicles at the same dose in the past. Clomid can also thin your endometrium.

Follistim would be more reliable, since it bypasses the brain noticing the Clomid and talks to your ovaries directly.

How's that for assvice? Hoping the sore boobies is significant,



Yoka said...

The insurance coverage sucks in general. We switched last year, because we found one that covered 2 IVFs after a $6000 deductible. Now we are switching again to get out of that insurance because we have done our two IVFs. And a third one. With no other results than a chemical pregnancy. I think they should cover all fertility treatments. Isn't infertility like a handicap which is - in most cases - treatable?

SaraS-P said...

I have a T-shirt that says "Will work for baby." People stare at it when I wear it.

Hope those sore boobs are the good kind!