I'm starting to lose it. Hope that is. Although I'm sure I will also lose 'it' before all this is said and done.
I'm an idiot and keep on POAS. Yesterday the line was much lighter and today it's almost gone. On the $ tree test you could barely see it. It was there on the First Response but so light. I'm trying to think objectively and realize that this was a chemical pregnancy. I think I'll have my pity party today so I can get on with my week tomorrow. My 2nd beta is scheduled for Tuesday and I have a killer day where I need to be able to function. I'm giving a training from 8:30-4 and then giving a workshop from 7-9. I'm not even sure when I'll be able to actually talk to my nurse. Maybe it's for the best, I won't have too much time to think.
This is so fucking unfair.
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About Me
- Meghan
- This is a little bit about me, my hubby, and our journey to start a family.
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Total out of pocket expenses to date
$3487.41~that includes various co-pays, 1 CD 3 bloodwork and 1 ultrasound for testing, HSG, 2 betas, IUI #1 (meds, 3x b/w and u/s, IUI, and beta), IUI #2 (meds, 3x u/s, 2x b/w, IUI)
Our timeline
- Jan 22 saw heartbeat at 6w3d...guess it's real
- 18 dpiui beta = 1077!
- 16dpiui beta = 450
- 13dpiui beta = 121
- Dec 07- IUI #2- 50 mg C.lomid + 150 IU F.ollistim = BFP!
- Nov 07- IUI #1-50 mg C.lomid + 75 IU f.ollistim = BFN
- Nov 5- BFN, beta dropped to less than 5, chemical pregnancy
- Nov 1-BFP on 4 HPT--what a suprise!!!!
- October 07-Sept was annovulatory, waiting on AF to start first IUI
- September 07-on the bench
- August 07- officially diagnosed with "unexplained fertility", going to start with IUI
- July/August 07- CD 3 bloodwork all normal, HSG all clear!!!
- June 07-finally get first RE appt!
- March 07- CD 21 progesterone test showed I didn't ovulate that month, Hubby's SA came back with low morphology. Gyno referred us to an RE
- Feb 07- scheduled appt with gyno, charting showed late O and probably LPD
- June 06- got serious! Started charting and using CBEFM
- June 05- went off bcp, sometimes preventing, sometimes trying, not taking the whole thing too seriously
- April 05- We got married!!
Blog Archive
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2007
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November
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- Get out the map
- Need everyone's help
- Jekyl and Hyde
- Back to work
- 3dpiui and hungover
- Stuffed
- Hurry up and wait
- ready
- wow--100 posts!
- Slow and steady **updated at bottom**
- Did it!
- How did we get here?
- 8 random things
- thanksgiving prep
- Blogger Flame of Fortitude
- a pointless post
- Catching up
- note to self
- buuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
- Got to admit it's getting better
- Cleaning out my closet
- CD1
- Good things
- Going out of my mind
- negative
- Hope
- Knowledge does NOT equal power
- 47.6 **updated at bottom**
- Holy.....
- maybe??
- Talk me down
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November
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7 comments:
Meghan-I am lost for words reading this. I know that there is no comfort in a time like this. But i want you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping that is comfort in itself. I am in tears just reading/writing this. You are in my thoughts
Gawd, I'm so sorry this is happening. That you thought you might really be done, only to watch it suck you back in. Ugh.
Hon, I'm so sorry,
Thinking of you
xx
J
thinking of you and sending you lots of hugs. i am still holding out hope, you never know. stranger things have happened.
This is just an awful wait you have to go through, I am so sorry and am thinking of you
Oh Meghan!
I am so sorry, girlie.
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